Street Phoebe
by littleblackcurlyhair
Summary: Phoebe Buffay is about to turn 13, and is blissfully unaware of how her world is about to fall apart. After her mother commits suicide, she runs away to NYC in search of her Grandmother, and is forced to grow from a sweet, naive child, to a tough independent street kid. Note: Young Ross may make an appearance. Please R&R! :)
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: I've always wanted to write something about Phoebe and Ursula's past so I decided to give it a shot. I don't know how good this fic is going to be, so bare with me. But reviews are appreciated! Oh, also the twins in the picture are the twins from a band called Prussian Blue, and they are a White-supremacist band. I do not condone their music at all, but they are very cute twins and I thought they'd make a great young Phoebe and Ursula. But I don't own them, or Friends. Only the plot. Please R&R and let me know what you think._

Ursula and I are about to turn 13, on Saturday. We'll be teenagers, then. We're not having a birthday party, though. We've never had a real one before. Ursula has been acting different lately. Wearing mom's make-up to school and stuff. She wants to go dress shopping for our birthday, if Grandma sends us some money, like she usually does, but Mom says we need that money.

Now that Daddy's gone back to jail, we don't have any. Our house is always cold, because the heat shut off. Also, we never have any food in the fridge. Sometimes I don't eat for days, unless I dig through the trash at school. Sometimes kids throw out perfectly good food. Apples, bologna sandwiches, raisins..

We don't have any money to buy school lunches in the cafeteria. One time Josie McFarland, the prettiest girl at school, who all the boys want to kiss, and who all the girls want to be like..she saw me digging in the garbage. Now all the kids at school call me and Ursula "The Garbage Can Twins". They make fun of us because we're poor. It really hurts my feelings. We can't help it if we're poor. I'd get a job if I could, but I'm not old enough. Ursula was really mad at me for digging in the garbage, and she says that it's my fault no one likes us at school. Ursula wants to be friends with the popular girls. But because we're twins, they make fun of her, too. I don't care about being popular. I don't even care about being a teenager. I don't see what the big deal is. I like being a kid.

Being a kid means you don't have to worry about grown-up stuff, like paying rent, paying bills, having a car. We had to sell our car, a few months ago, when Daddy went to jail.

Sometimes I like to make-believe that I'm really rich, and I live in a great big house, with a big yard, and pool, and that I have lots of nice clothes, and I never run out of food. Even though the house isn't real.I just made it up in my head. Ursula says that playing make-believe games is for babies, and we're too old for that, now. I tell my mom sometimes that one day I'm going to be a famous singer. I like to sing. I like making up my own songs. When I'm a famous singer, I'll let my mom and Ursula live in my big house. And we'll always have cake and cookies and lots of good food to eat. We won't ever be hungry or cold, like we always are now. If Grandma sends us money, I think I should buy a guitar and learn how to play.

I don't know if Grandma will send us money, though. One night, while me and Ursula were supposed to be sleeping, we heard Mom and Grandma talking on the phone. Mom was mad. She was yelling at Grandma.

"Don't you dare tell me how to raise my kids! I'm doing the best that I can, so don't you threaten to take them away from me!"

Sometimes I just can't sleep at night, because I'm too sad. And I'm too cold and hungry. Me and Ursula have to share a bed in our room. Tonight is one of those nights where I just can't sleep, and Mom is still awake. I can hear her in the kitchen. Sounds like she's making something, but we don't have any food. Maybe she's making a surprise birthday cake for me and Ursula, even though our birthday isn't until Saturday. I start to get excited, and then I hear Mom crying. I feel so sad. I don't like when she cries.

Ursula is fast asleep next to me. I poke her in the side. "Ursula.." I whisper. She doesn't wake up, so I poke her again "Ursula!"

"What?" she mumbles, sounding annoyed.

"Mom's crying again."

"I don't care." she says and rolls over, so her back is to me. "Go to sleep."

I sigh and close my eyes, trying to sleep again, but I keep thinking about bad things. I miss Daddy. I try to make-believe that he's going to come home and surprise us for our birthday. I see him coming through the door, with an armful of presents for me and Ursula. He'd give us both big hugs. He'd hug and kiss Mom, and she wouldn't have to cry anymore. "I've missed you girls so much." he'd say. "I promise I won't ever leave again. Things are going to get better for all of us."

Mom's crying interrupts my fantasy. I roll onto my side and look at Ursula. "Urs?"

She turns over, scowling at me. "What!?"

"When is Daddy coming home?"

"He's never coming home! Shut up about Dad! If you wake me up one more time I'm gonna punch you in the nose!" She rolls over again, pulling our shabby, wool blanket over her head.

Ursula always threatens to hit me, but she never does because she knows I'll tell on her, and she'll get in trouble. I wait a few minutes, and then I decide to get up. I put my feet on the cold floor and walk out to the kitchen, where Mom is. She's sitting at the table, with her head down, and crying. Behind her, I see a large bowl, with the white powder in it. It looks like the powdered sugar Grandma sprinkles on our French toast when Ursula and I use to go visit her when we were little. Daddy said that it's poisonous to kids, so I'm not allowed to touch it. When he and Mom use to make it in the kitchen, before he went to jail, I wasn't allowed in there. They mix it up and put it in the oven, making it into rocks. When they did, we always had money. But when the cops came to our house, they took Daddy, all of the poisonous powder, and all of our money. I haven't seen any powder in our house since he left.

Mom looks up. Her face is all red and puffy from crying. "Phoebe, honey. Go back to bed." she says, wiping her eyes.

I come closer to her. "I can't sleep."

Mom stands up quickly. "Phoebe, don't come in here! You know better than that."

"But I can't sleep." I say again. "I'm too hungry."

Mom starts crying again, and I feel bad. I know there isn't anything to eat. Mom walks over to me.

"Come here, baby girl." She puts her arms around me. I like it when she holds me, but I'm too big for her to pick up like when I was little. She sits down in the chair and pulls me into her lap. I haven't sat in her lap since I was little, either. She rocks me back and forth. "I love you, sweetheart. Things are about to get so much better for us. You'll see. I promise. Everything is going to be ok."

"I know." I say, as she strokes my hair. I rest my head on her shoulder. Eventually, I feel tired enough to go to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Today it's finally our birthday, and I'm happy. Mom was smiling when she woke us up early this morning.

"Good morning, my loves. I have a surprise for you." she said

The surprise was that she made us pancakes for breakfast. Two big stacks of them with butter and syrup. Since I haven't eaten anything for a few days, nothing has ever tasted better. She made mine Mickey-Mouse shaped, because she knows that's how I like them. Ursula kicked me under the table when I got excited.

"Baby." she whispered.

I opened my mouth to tell on her, but she interrupts me.

"Where did you get stuff to make pancakes?" she asks Mom.

"I went out and bought groceries last night when you girls were asleep. I couldn't let you go hungry on your special day." Mom replies.

"How? We don't have any money for groceries."

"We do, now." Mom says, smiling at us. "And I have another surprise for you two. I'm going to take you out shopping and you can buy whatever you'd like for your birthdays."

"Can we get some new clothes?" Ursula immediately asks.

"Of course."

"Me too?" I ask.

Mom laughs, placing her hand on my cheek. "Of course, you too. Anything you want. We'll make it a girl's day out. Just the three of us." She kisses the top of my head, and does the same to Ursula. "Me and my two teenage girls. I can hardly believe it. Seems like just yesterday you were my two tiny babies.." she stares off, thoughtfully.

Ursula looks at me and makes a face. She doesn't like it when Mom says things like that. I like hearing about when we were babies, though. Before our real dad left. Sometimes I wonder what our lives would be like if he would have stayed.

"Come on, now." Mom says. "Finish up your breakfast, and then get washed up and we'll take the bus into town."

Later, when we take the bus to the mall, Mom takes us to a clothing store we've never been in before. I'm worried at first, because it's an expensive store and I don't think we can afford to buy the clothes here. Most of our clothes are second-hand. Mom see's how I'm hesitant to pick out a new dress, like Ursula. She puts her hands on my shoulders.

"Phoebe, it's alright. You can get whatever you'd like." she whispers to me.

I look up at her. "Are you sure?"

She smiles. "Yes, don't worry bout it, alright sweetie? We have plenty of money to spend."

So I pick out a new dress to try on. I don't think I've ever had clothes that aren't faded or dirty with holes in them. The dress looks so pretty on me. Mom says we can pick out some more clothes. So we get some new shirts and skirts, as well. Even some new shoes. When we leave we carry out all of our bags of brand new clothes. Even Ursula is smiling. I remember my manners, and turn around and look up at Mom.

"Thank you for the new clothes, Mom! I love them!"

She smiles at me. "Anything for my princesses."

Ursula rolls her eyes. "Mom, don't call us that!"

"Right. Sorry. I forget you're not my little girls anymore."

"I don't mind." I tell her, grabbing her hand. "I like being a princess."

Mom laughs, giving my hand a squeeze. Ursula walks in front of us. I can tell she's embarassed, but I'm not. I wouldn't even care if the girls from our school saw us shopping with our Mom. Maybe if they knew how nice she was, they wouldn't make fun of us so much for being poor. At least now, we won't look poor with our new clothes.

"Where shall we go now?" Mom asks us. "You girls need to pick out a birthday present."

I look up at her confused. "I thought this WAS our birthday present."

"Oh, no. I bought these clothes because you girls need them so badly. What with you growing out of your old ones so quick. You can have anything you'd like for your birthday present. Sorry it won't be a surprise, though."

Ursula turns around, looking just like me when I get excited, except she doesn't do it as often. "Can I get some of my own make-up?"

Mom pauses, thinking about it. "I suppose so. After all, you're not a little girl anymore. How about you, Phoebe?"

I look up at her and raise my shoulders. I've never gotten a birthday present before. Just money from Grandma, and occasionally a cake. When Daddy was here, he'd buy us food on our birthday. Mom pats my head. "Well, if you see something you like, let me know. Anything you want, sweetheart, ok?"

In the store where we buy Ursula's make-up, I do see something I like: A thermos with Judy Jetson on it. We use to have a tv a few years ago, before we had to sell it. I use to love watching cartoons. The Flintstones, Buggs Bunny and Tweety, and the Jetsons. Judy was my favorite.

"Oh, Mom! Can I get it? Please!?" I beg.

"Honey, are you sure you don't want some make-up, like Ursula?"

I shake my head. I couldn't care less about having make-up.

"Well then I suppose. It is your birthday, after all."

I grin when I pick up the thermos, hugging it to my chest. "Oh, thank you, Mom! Thank you so much!"

Ursula gets mad. "Oh, Mom, don't buy that for her! We're in th eighth grade! Everyone is going to laugh at us!"

"Ursula," Mom says in a warning tone. "You got to pick what you wanted."

"But she's always embarrassing me at school!"

Mom gives her a stern look, and she quiets down.

Mom takes my thermos from me, and takes Ursula's make-up to pay for, and Ursula shoots me a glare.

"You're so stupid, Phoebe." she tells me under her breath. "I can't wait til I'm old enough that I don't have to live with you anymore."

I stick out my tongue at her, while Mom's back is still turned. And we leave the store. I can't wait to try out my new thermos.

"Well, I don't know about you girls, but I could go for some lunch right about now. What do you say?"

"Me too!" I chime.

While we're walking away from the store, down the sidewalk, and trying to decide where we want to eat, I hear a man's voice, behind us.

"Lily!"

Mom glances over her shoulder, and so do I. I see a big man, dressed in all black. I remember him. He use to come to our house a lot when Daddy was there, and he'd take some of our money. I don't like him. He swears a lot, and he use to get mad at Daddy. Mom grabs our hands and walks more quickly.

"Come on, girls. Don't look back."

The man keeps calling her. We're almost running now. I'm scared, so I do look back. He's almost caught up to me. The thermos slips out of my hand, and without thinking, I let go of Mom's hand to go back for it.

"Phoebe!" she yells, suddenly stopping. I try to catch up, but I'm too late. The man is right behind me. He walks right up to Mom, and I can see the fear in her eyes.

"Where's my money?" he asks her.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Mom says. "Please leave us alone."

The man roughly grabs Mom by the shoulder. "Your old man owes me money. You think I'd forget about something like that?"

"Look, I can't do anything about that. You know what happened. He's in prison." Mom tries to explain.

"That aint my problem, bitch!" The man grabs Mom's other shoulder and shakes her, hard. I just want him to stop. "Someone owes me a lot of money, and I'm gonna get it! Do you understand me!?"

He keeps shaking her, so hard, and Mom starts to cry. Her lip trembles. I have to do something. I run over and I grab his arm, trying to pull it off of her.

"You leave my Mom alone!"

His hand swings out and hits me so hard in the cheek that I fall to the ground. When I look up I see Mom kick him hard in the shin.

"Don't you ever touch my daughter!" she yells. People in the streets are stopping to look at us, now.

"Hey, what's going on!?" One man asks.

"Help!" Mom starts to cry out. "Someone please help us!"

The man looks around worriedly. He looks at Mom, and points. "You just made a big mistake, lady. If I don't get that money, you're dead meat. All three of you. Do you hear me?" He says, and limps off into an alley until we can't see him anymore.

"Is everything alright, ma'am?" The concerned man from before asks my mom.

She still has tears in her eyes but she nods. "Yes. Yes, we're alright now. Thank you very much."

As the people watching begin to carry on with their days, Mom rushed over to me. I'm still on the ground. She crouches down to my level, taking me into her arms.

"Oh, my baby! Are you alright? Did he hurt you?" She puts her hands on my cheeks, looking carefully at my face. I'm crying, too, because I'm scared. My cheek still hurts a little. I can tell it's going to bruise, but I shake my head, no.

Mom pulls me up, to my feet, still hugging me, tight. She grabs Ursula, and hugs her too. "It's alright, girls. It's going to be alright. Let's go home, ok?"

Our perfect birthday is ruined after that. We go home, and mom makes us dinner, but I'm not hungry. Even when she gives me heck for wasting food. She puts it in the fridge for later, and tells us to go get ready for bed.

As I'm brushing my teeth, I look into our cracked bathroom mirror and see the purple mark on my cheekbone from where the man hit me. It hurts when I touch it. Once again, I can't sleep. Mostly because I keep thinking about the scary man, and what he said to Mom. Is he really going to kill us all? I don't want to think about it. I can hear Mom crying again. She's sobbing louder than usual tonight. I can't stand the sound. I see Ursula put her pillow over her ears beside me, to block it out. I wait for her to stop. When she doesn't I decide to go to her, again. Maybe I can make her stop crying.

She's sat at the table, like she was the night before. She's not making any powder this time, she's just crying, so hard. And praying, which I've never heard her do. Our family doesn't go to church.

"Please, God. Help us. Please keep my girls safe.." she whispers. She looks up, startled to see me. "Phoebe! Go back to bed."

"But I.."

"Go!" she sounds mad, now. I just want for her to hold me, like she did last night so that we both feel better. But I obey, going back into our room. I hear Mom get up and go to bed, eventually, and I slowly drift off to sleep, after what feels  
like an eternity.

It's Monday now, and Ursula and I have to get up early for school. I've tried to stop thinking about the scary man, but every time I see my dark blue cheekbone in the mirror, I can't help it. I'm afraid of leaving Mom home alone. I tell her I'm too sick to go to school, but she doesn't believe me. She tells me to eat my cereal, or we're going to miss the bus. One thing I'm happy about today, is that Mom actually made us packed lunches for school today. I won't have to dig through the garbage, AND I finally get to use my Judy Jetson thermos. But Mom seems so sad today. She hasn't said anything more about what happened on Saturday, buy I can tell she's worried. All weekend, she kept peeking out our window, behind our curtain like she's expecting someone. Ursula told her we should call the police and tell them what the man did, but she told her we can't and to stop worrying about it. Before we leave for the bus, she gives us each a big hug. She holds me so tightly, for a long time. She tells Ursula that she loves her very much. Ursula usually doesn't like to say that she loves anyone, and she gets embarrassed when Mom says it to her.

"I know." Ursula says, and Mom gives her another hug, and kisses her hair. Then she does the same to me again.

"I love you girls." she says. "I do. Things are going to be ok, alright, Phoebe? Please don't be scared. You're my brave little princess, right?" she says, smiling with tears in her eyes, as she strokes my cheek on the good side. I smile back and nod. "I'm so proud of you. Both of you." She puts her arms around both of us, giving us one last squeeze.

"Ok, ok." Ursula says. "Can we go now? We're going to be late."

"Alright. Go on to school, girls. Remember what I said. I love you."

"I love you too, Mom." I say, and wave as we walk out the door.

I walk with Ursula to the end of our street to our bus stop, carrying my paper bag lunch in one hand, and my Judy Jetson thermos in my other. We're both wearing our brand new dresses to school today. Mine is black and purple, and Ursula's is pink and blue.

"That was weird, huh?" I say to my sister.

"What was?"

"The way Mom kept hugging and kissing us. She doesn't normally do that when we leave for school. Why's she acting so weird."

Ursula stops when we reach the bus stop and turns to me. "I'll tell you why." She says. Before I know what she's doing, she grabs my new thermos out of my hand.

"It's because of you, and this stupid thermos! If you hadn't dropped it when we were running, we would have got away!"

"Hey!" I protest, making a grab for the thermos but she holds it out of my reach. "That's mine! Give it back, Ursula!"

"No! Everything is all screwed up because of you! You always screw everything up!"

"Give me my thermos!" I cry, trying to grab it again. I hear the bus coming up to our stop. I see Ursula throw it. Before I can do anything to stop it, I hear a crunch, as the tire of the bus runs it over, and crushes my brand new Judy Jetson thermos.

I look down at Judy Jetson's cracked face and the broken pieces of my birthday present from mom, and my face turns hot. My eyes burn with tears.

"Ursula!" I cry, angrily, and I give my sister a shove. She turns around and shoves me back. The bus driver opens the door.

"Hey, hey! Enough of that! Now, are you two getting in the bus, or what?"

I try to catch my breath, still sobbing when Ursula grabs my hard by the arm. "You stop crying like a baby! You've already embarrassed me enough, and quite frankly you've gotten on my last nerve today!"

I wipe my eyes on the sleeve of my coat and I follow her onto the bus, to the back row, where we normally sit. Jodie MacFarland and her friends glare at us.

"Why if it isn't the Garbage Twins!" she says.

One of her friends laugh. "Oh, is that what that smell is? I thought something died in here!" They all erupt into vicious giggles as we walk past.

I try not to hear them as I sit down next to Ursula, who immediately stares out the window, refusing to look at me. She's fuming mad at me, like she always is when we get made fun of, but I don't care. I'm mad at her, too. I don't care if she ever talks to me again.

A/N: I think Phoebe said she was 8 when Ursula wrecked her thermos, but I totally forgot about that until I was half-way through this chapter. Oh well. xD I hope you all like it. Thanks for reading! :) Please let me know what you think so far, and I will try to update, ASAP!


	3. Chapter 3

I don't speak to Ursula for the rest of the day. I may never speak to her again. I make a point not to sit anywhere near her in the cafeteria at lunch time. In our math class, I pretend I can't hear her when she asks me a question about our homework, and when she rolls her eyes and tells me to "grow the hell up." When it's time to go home, I don't sit beside her on the bus, either. I take an empty seat on the other side. I plan to tell Mom what she did as soon as I get home. Mom doesn't like to punish either of us. When Daddy was around, he was the one who would punish us. At the most, she might take away Ursula's make-up. But I'm sure she'll side with me. She usually does, whenever Ursula does something mean. Mom always knows what to do to make me feel better when I'm upset. And because I've been upset with my sister all day, I can't wait to get home.

I try to walk quickly, when we get off the bus, so I don't have to walk with Ursula, but she catches up to me.

"Bet you're gonna go crying to Mom about this, aren't you?"

I cross my arms turn my head away from her again, pretending I don't see her.

"Oh, would you grow up, already? You're 13 now, stop acting like you're 5! Are you gonna be a tattle-tale cry-baby your whole life?"

"Shut up, Ursula!" I snap, finally breaking my silence. I'm tired of her calling me that.

I wait for some snotty remark back from her, but as we get closer to our house, she suddenly stops in her tracks. Her eyes grow wide. I turn my head to see what she's looking at and see the red and blue lights in front of our house. The last time I saw them was when the police came and took Daddy. My first thought is of Mom, and the powder, and the money she made from it. If they take her to prison, too, what's going to happen to us? My anxiety goes from bad to worse when we get even closer to the house and see that there isn't just a police car here, there's an ambulance, too. Two police men are standing by their car, one with a notepad and pen in hand, talking to our neighbor. Ursula and I look at each other. She looks just as pale-faced and worried as I'm sure I do. Without a second thought, I try to run to our front door to find Mom. One of the police men steps in front of me, blocking my path.

"I'm sorry, I can't let you kids come in here." he says.

"This is our house!" Ursula tells him. "We live here!"

The police man's face drops. He's younger than the other one, I notice. Kind of handsome. "Are you Lily Buffay's daughters?"

We both nod and the police man's expression softens. He looks over at the older police man, who looks back at him and nods.

The police man takes a deep breath and crouches down to our level, the way grown ups do when they're trying to break some bad news to a kid. His eyes dart uncomfortably from my face to Ursula's.

"I'm afraid I have something to tell you about about your mother."

My heart starts beating so fast that it hurts inside my chest. I don't want to hear what I think he's going to say.

Something behind him catches my eye. Two men in white suits are coming out of our house, pushing a gernie. On top of it is a black bag that I've only ever seen on tv, but I know exactly what's inside. I hear a whimper. I don't know if it's coming from me or Ursula. I think it's me, but I don't even recognize my own voice. This can't be happening. Not my mom. This has to be a nightmare or something. I need to wake up from it.

My stomach starts tightening into knots, and for a few seconds I feel like I'm going to be sick. My whole body is shaking so bad, I can't control it. The police man looks at me. He says something, but his voice sounds so far away. I feel myself falling as everything starts to go black.

Before I open my eyes, I tell myself that what I saw must have just been a bad dream after all. I think that I'm at home, and that when I wake up, Mom will be there. I'll go to her and give her a big hug and she'll make me feel better. But I hear sounds that don't sound like home. Voices I don't recognize. My head hurts. I lay there and listen to the voices I can hear, trying to make out what they're saying.

"There are no relatives in the state. There's a grandmother in New York, but the note she left specifically requested us not to send them there. Figures they won't be safe. From what we gathered at the house, someone may have been after the family. Looks like yet another drug deal gone wrong. Sad that those poor kids had to get dragged into it.."

The light in the room hurts my eyes when I open them. I reach up and touch something on my forehead that feels like band-aid. The voices I heard were coming from the next room. My vision is a little blurry still, but I make out two dark uniforms standing by a desk. There's other voices, and something that sounds like a radio. I manage to lift myself upright. I see someone sitting across from me. For a brief second I think I'm looking into a mirror until Ursula lifts her head and looks at me. The dark mascara stains under her eyes scare me because Ursula almost never cries. I still don't know for sure where we are.

"Urs?" I say in a weak voice. "What's going on?"

She doesn't answer me. I need her to tell me. I can't stand not knowing anymore. One of the police from the next room comes into the room we're in. The younger one. I recognize him from before.

"Phoebe, you're awake." he says. "Are you feeling alright?"

I stare at him, confused. How does he know my name? I don't even know who he is.

"Where's my mom?" I ask. He takes out his pen and note pad and sits down next to me on the couch I've been laying on.

"My name is Officer Peters. I need to ask you girls some questions."

I'm sure he heard my question, but I ask again anyways. "Where is she?"

He looks at me in the same way he did earlier, when I passed out. I feel a lump in my throat before he speaks, but I don't go into shock, like I did before. I wait for him to speak.

"I'm sorry to tell you this, Phoebe." he says softly. "Your mother took her own life."

I swallow hard as the tears pour from eyes, before the words even really sink in. My fears have been confirmed, and I know I'm not dreaming. How can my mom, the person that I love the most in the world, be gone? Who's going to take care of us now? Who's going to make me feel better and sing to me when I'm sad?

"We found her with her head in the oven. We believe she died from inhaling the fumes. I'm very sorry. Do you girls have any idea why she might ha-"

Before he can get his question out, my tears have turned into involuntary heaving sobs, which turns into loud wailing that I haven't done since I was very little, but I couldn't stop myself if I wanted to. I'm curled over, sobbing into my hands.

"Phoebe?" Officer Peters touches my shoulder.

I throw my arms around him and bury my head against his chest without thinking about it. I just need to hold onto someone. What I need is my mom's comforting touch, but she isn't here, and I don't know what else to do. Officer Peters must not have much experience of his job because he doesn't seem to know what to do at first. He starts to pat me on the back as my muffled cries continue.

"There, there...we're going to do everything we can to help you girls. It'll be alright. Maybe I can get you something to drink?" He genty pushes back from me to look at my tear-stained face. I nod. "I'll be right back, ok?" He puts his hand on top of my head, and then stands up and leaves the room.

I'm still inhaling violent sobs that are like hiccups I can't control. I look at Ursula who's sitting across from me, resting her chin in her hands and staring down at the floor. Shakily, my feet find the floor and I stand up. I walk over to her. I just can't stand to be alone right now. Not even for a minute. I sit down in a chair next to her. I attempt several times to speak.

"Wh...What's...gonna...happen...to...us?" I manage to say between my sobs.

"I don't know." Ursula answers, very flatly.

I start to catch my breath and breathe more slowly. I can't remember the last time I've ever hugged my sister, if ever, but I do so, now. She straightens up and tries to shrug me off.

I look at her, my eyes full of tears. "Urs...please. You're all I have left."

Ursula gives in and puts one arm around my shoulders. Stiffly, and without any real affection. Nothing like the way Mom holds me when I'm sad.

Office Peters returns, with two bottles of Coke for us. He pops the caps off and hands them to us before he sits down on the sofa that I was on.

"Now," he begins. "I know this is hard for you both right now, but this is very important. We need to try and figure out what happened here tonight, ok? Do you girls have someone you can stay with tonight? Someone we can call? Where is your father?"

"He's in jail." Ursula answers.

"I see." Officer Peters clears his throat. "Any family friends, or relatives?"

"Why can't we just go back home?" Ursula asks. "We're old enough to take care of ourselves."

"I'm afraid your house is under investigation right now. We can't let anyone on the property. We've sent someone to get your stuff, though. Now, are you sure there isn't anyone at all you can stay with for now?"

I look from Ursula to Officer Peters and shake my head. He sighs, sympathetically, not knowing what to say.

"Who's going to take care of us?" I ask.

He pats me on the head again. "We'll figure that out. What might happen, is you might have to stay in a group home for a while."

Ursula and I exchange a worried glance.

"You mean like an orphanage?" Ursula asks.

"Don't worry." he says. "They're not as bad as you may have heard. In fact, we have a very nice one we can send you to. And it's only temporary."

"Are we going to have to be adopted?" I ask him.

"That's possible."

"But what about our grandmother in New York? Can't we go live with her?"

"Your mother doesn-" he pauses, correcting himself. "didn't think that would be a good idea. From her suicide note, we think that somebody might have been threatening your family. Any  
idea who that might be?"

"Are we going to have to change schools?" Ursula asks, ignoring his question.

"As I said," he answers. "We'll figure all of that out. Most likely tomorrow. If you have no one you can stay with tonight, we can take you to the group home tonight. You have nothing to worry about. The people who work there are very nice. There are other kids there going through the same thing as you. You'll be safe there."

I feel the tears coming again. I don't want to stay in a strange place with strange people. I don't care how nice they are. I just want for my mom not to be in that body bag. I want her to be alive so that she can take us home. But I know that's not going to happen. Officer Peters asks us some more questions. We tell him about what happened on our birthday. Really, that's the only thing we can give him. We don't know who that man is. After some more questions that are painful to get through, he decides to let us go. A lady officer comes in with our backpacks.

"This was most of what we found at your house." she tells us. "If there is anything else you'll be needing, let us know and we can bring it to you tomorrow."

I open my backpack and find most of my clothes in there. Mostly the new ones Mom bought me. Plus my toothbrush and hair brush. I wish Ursula hadn't wrecked my Judy Jetson thermos. It was the last thing Mom gave to me.

I notice the lady holding a folded piece of paper. "We, uhm.." her hand hesitantly holds it out to us. "We also found this. It had your names on it."

Ursula and I make a grab for it at the same time, and Ursula gets it first. She opens the peice of paper. I try reading it over her shoulder. When she's done reading it, she hands it to me, carelessly.

_To my dear, sweet Ursula and Phoebe,_

_I know that you may never understand why I had to leave you the way that I've chosen to, but I want you to know_  
_that in my own way, I did it out of love for you. This may be the only way I can protect you, and the thought_  
_of not having either of you with me anymore is too much for me to bare. My deepest regret is that I will no _  
_longer be here as you blossom into the beautiful young women, that I know you both will become. But I want you _  
_to know, that I will always be with you. Please believe me when I say that. I've tried my hardest to give you_  
_both the happiness you deserve, but I've failed you over and over again. I've made so many mistakes in my life_  
_that I can't undo, and worst of all, I've dragged you both down with me. And so you must understand that by leaving_  
_you now, I am only giving you room to grow. All I can leave you with are these words._

_My dearest Ursula. You are mature and wise beyond your years. I know that we have not always seen eye to eye because of this. Perhaps it was my resistance to accept that you are growing up so fast, and so independently. But I want you to know that I love you with all of my heart, and no matter how old you get, you'll always be my little girl. But please remember to use patience, with yourself, and others. Take your time in life. There is no rush in enjoying even the smallest of things that make you smile. _

_My kind, sweet Phoebe. How I've always admired, and even envied your gentle nature, and your sweet optimism. You were my sunshine during the darkest times. As much as I've tried to shield you from the sadness in this world, you must know that it is out there. As much as I hope the best for you in finding your place in this world, please don't ever let it's harshness break your kind, gentle spirit. I hope you always follow your dreams to wherever they may take you.I love you more than I could ever say in words._

_I want you both to remember that even though I will no longer be here to guide you in the ways that I should, I will_  
_always be there when you need me. I will always be in your hearts, as you have always been in mine. _

_All of my love, _  
_Always and forever,_

_Mom_

I re-read it until I can't make out the words anymore through my tears. Then I wipe my eyes on my sleeve. I fold the paper over twice and carefully place it in the pocket of my jeans.

_A/N: Sorry if this fic is depressing so far. I PROMISE this is most likely the worst of it, and things will pick up in later chapters. I hope you like it, anyhow. Thanks for reading. Don't forget to review! ;)_


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